I have been addressed with the questions lately: how can I add value to my session with a coach and is it possible to get some result after the very first session?
I always answer “Yes!” to both questions. There is a way to raise the efficiency of the session with me, and you can see the result right after the first session. It is only important to realize that my professional work is not the only thing that you should rely on, so let me tell you how you can get prepared and help yourself beforehand.
Here you will find some advice, but before, let us figure out what I am and how my job is different from a psychologist’s job.
I am a communication coach — I help customers to build relationships, including those with themselves.
The basic difference of my work as a coach from that of a psychologist is that I work with the understanding of the desirable outcome, or, at least, of how to reach it, and the psychologist eradicates problems. I can help you to explore your problem, too, but in the capacity of a coach, I can only help you understand how you can live with it. However, it is not my competence to tackle the roots of the problem and set you free from its influence.
Now, let’s deal with the effectiveness of the session.
There are three focuses of attention that clients address me with:
- the problem,
- the solution,
- the desired outcome.
If the customer is focused on the problem or on the solution during the whole session, there will be no desired outcome. Is it logical? 🙂
It is important to mention that there is nothing wrong or right that a person is totally focused on some problem or its solution at some period of their life. It is just such a period in the person’s life, and I am not the specialist that is in need at that period.
If you still want me to hold a training for you, and you want to spend this time as effectively as possible, then you can do some work yourself before the session.
What do you begin with?
Ask yourself this question: What would I like to have happen?
If the answer looks like a description of the current situation and its difficulties, you are at the first focus of attention — “on the problem”.
For instance, if I ask my client: “What would you like to have happen?” and the answer is: “I am not happy about my boss, he does not hear me!” — it is a clear example of the focus on the problem.
To get from the problem to the desired outcome, you just ask yourself: so, when I know about the “problem”, what would I like to have happen??
However, there may be another stumbling block hidden which, like focusing on the problem, can delay approaching an outcome. I get an answer with the focus on the solution.
For example, “… so, when your boss does not hear you, What would you like to have happen?”
The answer is: “I want to resign.”
The particular solution may be the only way out of the problem, as well as it can not bring you to the desired outcome or not relate to the problem at all.
That is why, if your answer was in the solution format, ask yourself the same question once again: “and when “the solution” occurs, what is going to happen then?”
For example: “When you resign, what is going to happen then?”
The answer is: “Then I will find a job where I will be confident in myself, and I will work calmly and at ease.”
Now we have the understanding of the desired outcome with key priorities: working calmly and at ease and self-confidence. This is what you might explore at the session and get to know how you can reach it.
It is important to notice that I, as a coach, can not work with a client’s requirement about the changes in other people: if the client is not satisfied with their boss’ behaviour, there is no way that I can change it in their boss. Neither can the client change their boss, it is the boss who should have a desire to do it. For this reason, I can not work with the client whose attention is on the problem only. However, together with the client, we can understand what outcome they want to get to. Then we will see if we need to deal with the boss in order to reach the goal. After all, when you resign and find another job, you will have to take yourself to that new job and get the similar problem there. Therefore, it is too much of a risk to work with the ready-made solution.
Now you know how to check your focus of attention and figure out what your desired outcome is before the session. If it is not easy to word the query (the desired outcome), sign in, I will help you.
What are we going to do at the session with the desired outcome? We’re going to model it!
For instance, we can work out the resources like “working at ease” or “working in a confident way” by modeling the process “when I am working at my best”: what resources and support do I need? what is it going to be like? and so on. We visualize the image and work on it in the course of the session.
We can also sort out “when I am working at my worst” to understand what the triggers are that are drawing you into the worst condition. Here, though we are speaking about the problem, the focus of our attention is on the desired outcome.
There may be queries on any topic. When I am … at my best/worst:
- writing my graduation thesis;
- interacting with colleagues;
- selling, etc.
Activities in any spheres can be modeled, and you will understand after the very first session what resources and support you need for the best performance. During two sessions, it is possible to sort out the other side of it: when I am working at my worst.
If you feel like working with me and hold the most effective session, just think what you would like to happen and tell me about it. You can find more details about prices and my practice on this page.
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