Clean Communication in action

Dialogue between a client and a contractor.

Contractor:

Hello! I’ve been completely worn out lately, and forgot I had not transferred the calculations to you. We have recalculated and it turned out to be 9 hours of work. It costs X amount of money.

Client:

Hey. We have examined three contractors. Out of the two who sent the estimate within the agreed time, we have already chosen one and started work. But this is not our last project. So let’s see how they do the job. And in any case, we will be in touch.

Contractor:

Are you saying that I did not provide the estimate in time?) Or our work is just more expensive?

Client:

We met on March, 14. The agreement was to send the estimate by the end of the week, that is, on Friday, 16 March. Today is 2 April. Yes, it seems to me that the estimate was not sent in time. The prices are fairly equal. We have simply chosen the one who responded promptly and showed more interest in our project.

Contractor:

I just said that the price would not change much. It was the main argument. Obviously, I’m sorry, I did not send it on time. Unfortunately, I do not have thousands of assistants and I have to take on a lot of tasks. So, I failed.

Client:

Yes, I figured that there are many tasks. )

Contractor:

It seems to me that it’s not about I did not answer in time. It is something else. If you wanted to compare the prices, you could have written and asked to rush on. I like to work honestly.

Client:

But I did not want to compare the prices. I wanted to assess how important our project is for the contractor we choose. The delay in responding for 2 weeks, the need to ask to speed up despite a clear agreement on the timing. For me this is a sign that there are a lot of tasks, and our project is not included in the top 3.

Contractor:

)) I got it! For me it’s not in the top just for one reason: it’s May! We work so promptly that we would do 5 similar projects in a month!

And the work from you for April has not even been tasked)

In any case, the customer is always right! I hope you will succeed in it!

Customer: Thank you! )

Analysis

It is clear from the very first statement that the contractor is in a drama.

If you still do not know about the role of the dramatic triangle, first read the post on the link.

Explicit position of the victim: “I’ve been completely worn out lately, and forgot I had not transferred the calculations to you.” or “Obviously, I’m sorry, I did not send it on time. Unfortunately I do not have thousands assistants and I have to take on a lot of tasks. So, I failed”.

After that the contractor became a prosecutor: “If you wanted to compare the prices, you could have written and asked to rush on.” or “We work so promptly that we would do 5 similar projects in a month!
And the work from you for April has not even been tasked)”

When we encounter another person’s drama in everyday life, we can easily give in to it and find ourselves in a role of a:

Victim (an example of the client’s possible thoughts in this role) — She’s right. It does not look good. I could have reminded her of the estimate.

SaviorDamn, poor fellow. She has so many tasks that she does not have time to do them all. We must tell her how to control time correctly and find an assistant.

PersecutorFreaking drama queen! She has gone off the rails!

However, the client very competently and skillfully did not involve himself into the contractor’s drama and operated with Clean Feedback (CF).

Evidence (non-judgemental observation):

We met on March 14. The agreement was to send the estimate by the end of the week, that is, on Friday, 16 March. Today is 2 April.

Inference: Yes, it seems to me it was not in time.

Impact:

The prices are fairly equal. We have simply chosen the one who responded promptly and showed more interest in our project.

As the client said in the editorial office: “I was doing the CF exercise, and it was the only thing that kept me from drama at the moment of communicating with her =) I decided to apply it immediately.”

Tip: In order to prevent falling into someone else’s drama you can use one of the tools — Clean Feedback (CF).

If you have examples of communication that you want us to disassemble and give you advice — contact us at hello@crewcoop.org

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